Have you ever laid in bed thinking, I was busy all day, but I don’t even know what I did?
And that one thing you actually had to do is no closer to being done.
We’re conditioned to feel like everything needs our attention. If it doesn’t get it, we’re dropping the ball or not trying hard enough.
But I’m here to tell you it’s not about effort. Our teams want to do good work! It’s just really hard when everything feels urgent and needs our attention right now.
Nothing is important if everything is important.
In this post, I’m sharing how to prioritize when everything is urgent. I’ll walk you through the two questions I ask about every item on my to-do list, how I handle email, and what setting a boundary with your boss actually sounds like.
A Monday that probably sounds familiar
Imagine it’s Monday morning at 10 a.m. You’ve got the three most important things written down for the day, just like all the productivity gurus tell you to do. You’re about to eat the frog.
Here’s how the rest of the day goes:
- 10 a.m. An email from your team asks you to run a report. It goes straight to the top of the list.
- 11 a.m. Your kid’s school calls. You forgot the lunch money. The book you were excited to read over lunch gets pushed back yet again so you can drop off a check.
- Right before you leave. Your boss asks you to sit in on a meeting this afternoon because it may be of interest to you.
- 5 p.m. You didn’t even start your list. So you skip the gym to work from home and get caught up before it all starts again tomorrow.
I’m guessing at least a portion of that sounded familiar to you.
Honestly, it’s too familiar to too many people.
How to prioritize when everything is urgent: ask two questions
So let’s start at the beginning. With everything on your to-do list, ask yourself:
- Is it important?
- Is it urgent?
Our tendency is to make everything seem both. We’re all people pleasers at heart. We want the person on the other end to be proud of us and not disappointed.
We also don’t actually know the priority of what’s crossing our to-do list. So everything keeps getting put at the top, and the things that actually need our time and energy get pushed down.
Take that report request. Most of us have our email open all the time. We get a ding, stop what we’re doing, run the report, email it back and check our email again.
All of that maybe took five minutes. But research shows it takes over 23 minutes to fully refocus after an interruption.
What we’re losing is up to 23 minutes of momentum.
And here’s the thing. You don’t actually know if that report is urgent. If they don’t need it until Friday, you just lost your momentum and made yourself anxious for nothing.
Ask before you assume something is urgent
This first piece of the scenario taught me two things.
First, create specific times of your day to check email. My entire life has changed since I started doing this! I check mine three times a day: 8 a.m., noon and right before the end of the day.
If that makes you anxious, tell your team what you’re doing. If something is truly urgent, they can call you or come find you. That’s something we as leaders can do to show our team what it looks like to protect deep work.
Second, never assume how urgent something is for someone else. Respond with questions like:
- “When do you need this by?”
- “Is this urgent, or is it something I can get to later?”
- “I’m deep into something here. Any chance you could ask Mildred to run the report?”
(I had just watched The Parent Trap. Mildred was the first name that came to mind!)
The same goes for that last-minute meeting. It’s urgent because it’s this afternoon. But is it important? Maybe only you have the information they need. Or maybe your boss just thought it’d be a good learning experience.
We don’t know unless we ask.
What setting a boundary actually sounds like
We’ve all been there. The to-do list is overflowing, we put on a brave face, and then our boss hands us one more thing. We hit a breaking point and bring that stress home to our spouses and kids.
Here’s what you could say instead:
“I’m excited to take on this project, but my time is already accounted for this week. If you need me to take this on, is there another project on my plate we can push the deadline for? Or could we see if someone else has the capacity?”
If you’ve always been the one to raise your hand, your boss might have no idea you’re overwhelmed.
We will never know if we don’t ask.
Stop pushing off the things that refuel you
That forgotten lunch check wasn’t a random example. It has happened to me multiple times!
My immediate reaction is always, my gosh, I dropped the ball. I can’t believe I did that again. It feels like I need to fix it right now or the whole world is going to end.
But I’ve conditioned myself to ask, “Can I drop it off tomorrow?” If my kid won’t get to eat today without it, then it’s urgent. I can almost guarantee they’ll say, “Yes, drop it off tomorrow. Not a problem.”
It continues to be important, but it is no longer urgent.
Now think about that book you were going to read over lunch. It could be seen as neither urgent nor important. I would argue that the things that constantly keep getting pushed off of our to-do lists are the things that would help rejuvenate us for the work that is actually urgent and important.
They may never get top billing on your priority list, but they definitely shouldn’t be on the bottom either.
I was speaking to a group of high school entrepreneurs a couple of weeks ago. I asked them to circle the one thing on their to-do list that would move the needle. They looked at me like deer in the headlights. Multiple students said everything is important and there isn’t enough time in the day.
So I gave them some tough love. I asked which social media platform was their favorite. They said all the regulars. (I laughed pretty hard when one said Tinder. He was a little too close to the microphone.)
Then I asked how much time they’d get back if they spent half as long on those apps. What if sleep was at the top of the priority list instead? You could see the wheels turning.
Honestly, that’s a question for everyone. You won’t find a game or social media on my phone right now. I can still play Sims or scroll Instagram on my computer. I’m deprioritizing them by taking them off of what feels urgent and making them something I do when I want them to feel important.
How intentional prioritization scales to your team
Once you learn to do this for yourself, it becomes much easier to do with a team. You start asking better questions:
- Which projects truly deserve our attention right now?
- How many meetings do we actually need?
- Is this deadline fixed, or is it flexible based on our priorities?
When we get better at prioritization as individuals, our team gets clearer because we’re learning to ask the right questions. We stop drowning. We lead with more energy, and that passes on to our coworkers.
So next time something new crosses your desk, ask yourself: is it important, and is it urgent? Then place it where it belongs.
Not everything that asks for your attention deserves your energy. You get to decide.
Questions leaders ask me
How do I know if a task is urgent or important?
Never assume how urgent something is for someone else. Respond with questions like, “When do you need this by? Is this urgent, or is it something I can get to later?” We have to ask the right questions, not only internally, but to other people, to make sure we understand the priority.
How do I tell my boss I don’t have time for another project?
If you’ve been putting on a brave face and you always raise your hand, your boss might not know that you’re overwhelmed. Try, “I’m excited to take on this project, but my time is already accounted for this week. I have no additional capacity.” We will never know if we don’t ask and if we don’t share our current reality with people.
How often should managers check email?
I typically check my email three times a day: 8 a.m., noon and right before the end of the day. If that makes you anxious, you can always advise your team that it’s something you’re doing. And if something is truly urgent, they should either call you or come find you.
Recap
- Ask two questions about everything on your list: is it important, and is it urgent?
- Every interruption can cost you up to 23 minutes of focus, so check email at set times.
- Never assume how urgent something is for someone else. Ask when they need it.
- Setting a boundary with your boss starts with sharing what’s already on your plate.
- Make room for the things that refuel you so you have energy for the work that matters.
Want this for your team?
When leaders get clear on what really matters, their teams get clearer too, and that’s a big part of my keynote, Good People to Great Teams. I work with companies that have hired good people they really like, and I help them turn those people into great teams. No trust falls, gimmicks or marshmallows. Just real conversation, honest self-discovery and a lot of laughs!
If you’re planning a conference, leadership summit or company event and looking for a leadership keynote speaker, I’d love to talk.
Not ready to bring me in yet? Grab my free WALL Blueprint and make your next hard conversation easier. [Get the WALL Blueprint]([WALL BLUEPRINT LINK])
Desiree Petrich is a keynote speaker, bestselling author of Taking Intentional Action, and host of You’re the Boss, Now What?, a top 2% podcast globally. Through her keynote, Good People to Great Teams, she helps organizations turn the good people they’ve hired into great teams that trust each other. Learn more about bringing Desiree to your next conference or event at desireepetrich.com.
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Add the WALL Blueprint landing page link above.
Add the episode embed and Apple and Spotify links at the top of the post.
In WordPress, set the six section headings as H2s and the three questions as H3s. They’re one level lower here only because the post sits under a “Blog post” heading in this doc.
Suggested internal links: episode 11, Take Back Your Time and Still Hit Your Goals as a Manager (link from the email section), episode 44, The Boundary Every Manager Needs to Avoid Burnout (link from the boundary script) and episode 12, 4 Rules to Help You Control Your Time When You Struggle With Time Management (link from the two questions section).
