Do you ever crawl into bed exhausted… and then rerun that tense 3 p.m. conversation on loop? Or sit on the couch to play with your kids while your inbox whispers your name? You’re not broken—you’re a high-achieving human with a busy brain. The fix isn’t “try harder.” It’s designing evenings that protect your energy, your focus, and your people.
Below are the three questions I’m asked most by new and aspiring managers—and simple, do-it-today answers.
1) “How do I stop letting work bleed into every area of my life?”
Set the standard (and live it)
Leaders don’t just announce boundaries; they model them. If you tell your team to unplug but you’re emailing at 9 p.m., you’ve taught them that late-night replies are expected. Choose your standard and stick to it.
Try this tonight
- Delete Slack and work email from your phone. Make laptop-only access the default. The physical friction protects you from “accidental work.”
- Use schedule send. Draft at night if you want, but deliver at 8:00 a.m. so you don’t trigger reply pressure for your team.
- Clarify expectations: “I don’t check email after 6 p.m. If something is urgent, please call.” You’ve now protected your evening and given a clear escalation path.
A mindset reframe that might surprise you
If evening work genuinely helps you (and doesn’t rob time from commitments you value), it isn’t automatically “bad.” Many leaders hit their tactical stride from 8–10 p.m. Decide what serves you—intentionally. If your nights aren’t causing a problem, stop treating them like one. If they are, design them differently.
2) “How do I unplug when my brain won’t shut off?”
We think unplugging means logging off. It starts earlier—by calming your nervous system and closing open loops.
Create a 10-minute shutdown routine
- Sweep your desk: consolidate sticky notes, file papers.
- Check tomorrow’s calendar: prep what future-you needs (links, slides, documents).
- Write a 3-item priority list: what will make tomorrow a win?
When you close loops before you close the laptop, your brain gets permission to rest.
Name the resistance
If you’re doom-scrolling your to-do list at 9:30 p.m., there’s a gap you haven’t named. Ask:
- What conversation am I avoiding?
- What task feels bigger than it is?
- Who am I worried about disappointing?
Then take the smallest possible action to relieve the pressure (send a clarifying note, book a 15-minute huddle, or time-block the task for tomorrow).
Decode your worry with Working Genius
- Enablement folks stew on people problems (“I’m letting someone down”).
- Tenacity folks stew on unfinished tasks (“I didn’t get enough done”).
Knowing your wiring helps you choose the right fix—recontract with a person or restructure the plan. (If you want help reading your results, grab a free debrief at intentionalaction.net/self-awareness.)
3) “How do I move my body when I’m already exhausted?”
Motivation rarely appears first. Action creates it.
Two tools that actually work
- The 5-second rule: Decide you want the outcome, then count down 5-4-3-2-1 and move. Stand up, put on shoes, step outside. Once your feet hit the floor, your brain follows your body.
- Tiny habits + conditional permission: Make the rep microscopic—and earn your reward.
- “One push-up before Netflix.”
- “One minute of stretching before bed.”
- “Five minutes of walking before I scroll.”
You’ll often keep going. If not, the win still counts, and tomorrow is easier.
Find your why (the honest one)
Will present-you be proud of the choice future-you inherits? For me, movement is about modeling a sustainable, fun relationship with fitness for my kids. Your why might be energy, stress relief, mental health, or showing up better for your team. Name it. Put it somewhere you’ll see at 5:30 a.m.
A one-evening reset you can start tonight
- Shutdown ritual (10 minutes): clear desk, prep tomorrow, write top 3.
- Tech boundaries (2 minutes): remove work apps from your phone; set schedule-send.
- Nervous system cue (2 minutes): two slow inhales through the nose, long exhales through the mouth; repeat five times.
- Move once (5 minutes): walk the block, do one set, stretch for one minute—tiny is plenty.
- Conditional permission: enjoy your show/scroll/snack after the tiny rep.
Total: ~20 minutes. Notice how much lighter you feel.
Why this matters for new managers
Evenings shape tomorrow’s leadership. When you protect your recovery, you:
- Build trust faster (calm leaders make clearer calls)
- Handle conflict without overreacting
- Run tighter, more effective team meetings
- Hold employees accountable with consistency, not adrenaline
- Avoid the quiet slide into burnout
This is Coaching for Managers in real life—and the backbone of How to Be a Better Manager.
Pick one, right now
- Will you redefine your evening boundary (and model it)?
- Will you install a 10-minute shutdown routine?
- Will you try one tiny habit with conditional permission?
Then ask yourself: Why this one? That answer is your fuel.
If this helped, share it with a colleague who’s juggling high standards and a busy life. And if you want a quick, free debrief on Working Genius or DISC to pinpoint your evening friction, grab a slot at intentionalaction.net/self-awareness.
You’re the boss now. What are you going to do with it?
