Do you ever notice a theme that keeps popping up—honesty, integrity, self-trust—like a blinking neon sign you can’t ignore? That’s where this episode takes us. I read “Leveling Up” by Ryan Leak so you don’t have to, and pulled out the questions that help first-time managers build real self-awareness, set their own definition of success, and lead with more integrity and joy at work.
If you’re a new manager wondering how to be a better manager without burning out, these prompts will help you improve team dynamics, reduce imposter syndrome in leadership, and model the kind of accountability you want from your team.
1) The self-awareness question: What is it like to be on the other side of me?
Most leaders think they’re self-aware; very few truly are. Your family and your coworkers see your blind spots long before you do, which is why feedback is one of the most underrated Coaching for Managers tools.
Try this:
- Ask three people (a peer, a direct report, a cross-functional partner): “What’s it like to be on the other side of me—especially when I’m under pressure?”
- Listen without defending. Ask, “What’s one behavior I could change that would make your job easier?”
- Close the loop in your next one-on-one. That’s how to build trust as a manager—through action, not promises.
Manager script:
“Thank you for the candor. Here’s what I heard, here’s what I’m changing, and here’s how I’ll measure it next month.”
Why it matters:
Self-awareness is the fastest way to fix team dynamics, handle difficult employees productively, and lead effective team meetings that stay focused.
2) The success question: What does success look like for me this season?
Borrowed definitions of success are a trap. If you chase your mentor’s goals—or your company’s vague “do more” mantra—you’ll climb fast and realize you’re on the wrong ladder.
Try this:
- Write two lists: “Success at work, next 90 days” and “Success at home, next 90 days.”
- At work, keep it specific: “Delegate X reporting by Week 3,” “Hold employees accountable with Thursday 3 p.m. status standards,” “Lead one conflict conversation using our values.”
- At home, keep it honest: “Four family dinners per week,” “Phone down 8–10 p.m.,” “Gym 3x.”
Manager script:
“My success metric this quarter is fewer fire drills and clearer standards. Here’s what I’m delegating, here’s the quality bar, and here’s how we’ll review it.”
Why it matters:
Clarity beats hustle. You’ll make better tradeoffs, protect energy, and actually model the boundaries you expect from your team.
3) The integrity question: Where am I rounding up to the truth?
Integrity starts with the little stuff—the “one tablespoon of butter” that’s actually three. Leaders lose self-trust when their story (“I’m doing everything right”) doesn’t match their reality.
Try this:
- Pick one habit where you’re “close enough” (prep for 1:1s, documenting decisions, start/stop times).
- Get painfully specific: define the exact standard, then track it for two weeks.
- Share one integrity upgrade with your team. Transparency builds psychological safety and normalizes mistakes without lowering standards.
Manager script:
“I’ve been saying I prep for 1:1s. The truth: not consistently. Starting today, your 1:1 doc will have agenda, recognition, blockers, and next steps before our meeting.”
Why it matters:
Honesty fuels trust. Trust fuels accountability. Accountability fuels results. That’s how to hold employees accountable without becoming the bad guy.
4) The fun question: Am I enjoying it?
Joy is a performance variable. You don’t need to love every task, but if nothing is energizing you, your team will feel it.
Try this:
- List two tasks each week that give you energy. Do more of them on purpose (coach in 1:1s, strategy whiteboarding, customer interviews).
- Celebrate small wins in team meetings. Tie praise to behaviors and impact, not just outcomes.
- If a direct report says they’re not enjoying it, get curious. What 20 percent of their job could we redesign to spark energy?
Manager script:
“What part of this project is most energizing for you? Let’s shape your role to do more of that while still hitting our targets.”
Why it matters:
Teams mirror their manager. If you find the joy and model it, you reduce burnout risk and help people choose to stay.
Put it into practice this week
- Send a two-question feedback note to three people and share one change you’ll make.
- Define three success metrics for the next 90 days and post them where your team can see them.
- Pick one integrity upgrade and track it daily for 14 days.
- Add a “what energized you this week?” round to your next team meeting.
New manager tips to keep on your desk
- Feedback over flattery. Ask for specifics; respond with changes.
- Appreciation plus accountability. High standards, high support.
- Clarity first. If a task slips, clarify who, what, when, and done-by-when.
- Delegate outcomes, not tasks. Define success, constraints, and check-ins.
- Meetings need purpose, agenda, owner, and decisions captured. That’s how to lead effective team meetings.
Want help turning this into a team habit?
Desiree Petrich facilitates practical workshops on DISC, Working Genius, and the 5 Dysfunctions of a Team that help leaders fix a toxic culture, handle conflict at work, and build systems for accountability that stick. If your team needs a reset, reach out.
Listen to the episode
This post recaps the conversation inspired by “Leveling Up” by Ryan Leak on You’re the Boss, Now What? If it helped, share your biggest takeaway on LinkedIn and tag Desiree. Reviews on Apple Podcasts help more first-time managers find the show.
