How to Show Up Energized and Confident Again at Work

Some people are content. Others are complacent. The difference matters.

Content means you like your life and still grow on purpose.
Complacent means your inner ember is fading. You’ve gone numb, stuck in a comfort zone that shrank your dreams into “maybe someday.”

In this episode of You’re the Boss, Now What?, Jason Barnaby—tribe leader and chief fire starter at Firestarters Inc.—joins me to talk about how to find your fire, fan your flame, and ignite your life… without burning your career to the ground.

The wake-up call most people miss

Jason tells two stories from his corporate years: the elevator colleague who answered every Monday with “not bad for a Monday,” and the retiree carrying a box of desk stuff who said, “I guess it’s time to get a life.” Oof.

Those moments sparked his mission: help people move from zombie mode to fully alive, one small strike of the match at a time.

Find your fire, fan your flame, ignite your life

Jason’s simple framework:

Find your fire – Name what you actually want (not what you think you’re allowed to want).
Fan your flame – Create tiny, repeatable moves that add oxygen.
Ignite your life – Build a tribe and rituals that keep momentum going.

Leadership takeaway: culture is built from the bottom up by how we show up, how we treat each other, and how we lead ourselves. That includes you.

Meet your “what-if-abouts” (and then torch them)

Jason coined a term for the voice that keeps you stuck: what-if-abouts—the pesky doubts and fears that work hard to keep you afraid.

They sound like:

“Who do you think you are?”
“What if it doesn’t work and you lose everything?”
“You don’t have anything worth saying.”

They’re loud. They’re boring. And they’re beatable.

Try this equal-time exercise:

Set a 20-minute timer. List every what-if-about and barrier. Get it all out.
Set another 20-minute timer. List everything that could go right. Be specific and a little ridiculous.
With proper safety, burn the fear page. Keep the possibility page.

Why it works: your brain finally sees both sides of the ledger.

Close the gap between who you are and who you want to be

Here’s a practical path you can start today.

Say it out loud
Who do you want to be? How do you want to show up at work and at home? Write a few sentences you can read daily.
Strike one match
Pick the smallest next action that creates momentum. Email a mentor. Shadow a colleague. Register for a class. Volunteer one evening a month. Then do it again next week. Small wins compound.
Build a tribe (not a crowd)
Do a quick “tribal inventory”:

Keep: the 2–3 people who encourage, challenge, and show up.
Limit: the energy vampires and naysayers.
Add: one coach/mentor and one peer who’s a step ahead.
Accountability here is supportive, not punitive.

Replace hoarding with sharing
If you lead others, share what you know. Document decisions. Delegate with real ownership. Mentoring is how you build trust and culture—and how you stay irreplaceable.
Redraw your comfort zone
Growth starts where comfort ends. You don’t need chaos; you need stretch. Choose one weekly rep that feels slightly scary and 100% doable.

Scripts you can use this week

Ask for a stretch:
“I want to grow in X. Is there a small project I can own this month with two check-ins and a clear outcome?”
Loving accountability with a peer:
“We both said this matters. What’s your single next match this week? I’ll text you Friday; text me too.”
Delegation that develops:
“The outcome is X by Y within Z constraints. You own the how. I’ll document what I know and be your sounding board.”

A 15-minute action plan

Minute 1–5: Write who you want to be and how you want to show up.
Minute 6–10: List one tiny match to strike in the next 48 hours. Put it on your calendar.
Minute 11–15: Text two people: one mentor ask, one peer partner. Set a check-in date.

Repeat weekly. Momentum begets momentum.