If you’ve ever found yourself sitting at your desk, exhausted, overwhelmed, and silently thinking I can’t do this alone, you’re not broken—you’re human. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak. It makes you wise.
In this episode of You’re the Boss, Now What?, Desiree Petrich shares five practical ways to ask for help and four reasons we often resist it. Whether you’re managing a team, running a business, or simply trying to keep life together, this post will help you reframe help as a tool, not a failure.
This is your step-by-step guide to becoming a more self-aware, confident, and connected leader—one who leads by example and gives others permission to do the same.
Why We Don’t Ask for Help
Before we talk about how to ask, we need to talk about why it’s so hard. Most managers and high achievers fall into one (or more) of these four traps.
1. You Feel Guilty or Selfish
You tell yourself, I should be grateful for what I have. You have a good job, a great family, and food on the table, so who are you to ask for help?
But here’s the truth: being grateful and being supported are not opposites. You are worthy of help and love simply because you’re human—not because you’ve earned it.
2. You Don’t Want to Burden Others
Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that your friends, family, or coworkers already have too much going on. So you stay silent. But what if you’re actually robbing them of the chance to show up for you?
Most people want to help. They just need permission.
3. You’re Afraid of Judgment
You worry your request will make you look weak, unprepared, or dramatic. The irony is, leaders who ask for help are the ones others trust most—because they model honesty and courage.
4. You’re “The Helper”
If you’re the go-to person everyone leans on, asking for help can feel unnatural or even shameful. But the most effective leaders are those who both give and receive help with grace. It’s not a contradiction—it’s balance.
How to Ask for Help (Without Guilt or Awkwardness)
Once you’ve named what’s holding you back, it’s time to move forward. Here are five ways to start asking for help confidently—at work and at home.
1. It’s Okay to Change Your Mind
Maybe you’ve said “I’m fine” a hundred times before, but today, you’re not. That’s okay. When someone offers help, you don’t lose your chance if you decline the first time.
Try this simple phrase:
“When you offered to help last week, I really thought I had it handled. I could use that support now—does the offer still stand?”
Changing your mind doesn’t make you inconsistent. It makes you self-aware.
2. Give Yourself Grace (The Right Way)
“Give yourself grace” is good advice—until it becomes an excuse to stay stuck.
If you’re venting about a problem, tell people what you actually need. Do you want encouragement, a strategy, or just someone to listen?
For example:
“I’m really struggling with my workload. I don’t need you to fix it—I just need to talk it through.”
or
“I need accountability more than comfort right now. Can you check in on me this week?”
The clearer you are, the more likely you’ll get the help you need.
3. Choose the Right Person
Not everyone is the right fit for every problem—and that’s okay. Your spouse might be your rock emotionally, but not the best sounding board for your business strategy.
Find your “board of advisors”:
- A friend you can vent to without judgment
- A coworker who gives practical advice
- A mentor who asks great questions
- A peer who simply listens
Don’t rely on one person for everything. Spread the weight.
4. Be Honest About What You Want
Are you asking for advice or a compliment? If you ask, “What do you think of this project?” but secretly want praise, feedback might sting.
Try this instead:
“I’m proud of this project—I’d love your honest thoughts, but I mostly want to celebrate that it’s done.”
Being clear upfront saves both people frustration—and helps you get what you actually need.
5. Be Honest and Vulnerable
Vulnerability creates connection. When you’re open about your struggles, you give others permission to be open too.
You don’t have to overshare—just be real.
“I’ve been pushing through, but I’m hitting a wall. Can I share what’s been going on?”
That kind of honesty builds stronger relationships, both at work and in life.
Asking for Help at Work as a Manager
If you’re a leader, asking for help sets the tone for your team. Here’s how to do it well.
- Normalize it. Start meetings with quick “What do you need help with?” check-ins.
- Model it. Ask your team for input when you’re stuck instead of pretending you have all the answers.
- Reciprocate it. When someone asks for help, make time. Your response teaches them whether it’s safe to ask again.
This is how you build trust as a manager and improve team dynamics. It’s also how you fix a toxic culture—one open conversation at a time.
When Saying No Is the Help
Not every request deserves a yes. Sometimes the kindest, most self-aware response is, “I don’t have the capacity right now.”
Saying no clearly and kindly helps everyone. You honor your own boundaries, and you prevent resentment later.
“I’d love to help, but I don’t have the bandwidth to give it the attention it deserves. Can I connect you with someone else?”
That’s leadership, not rejection.
Final Thoughts: Worthiness and Confidence Go Hand in Hand
Asking for help isn’t about weakness—it’s about connection.
Leaders who ask for help build stronger teams, deeper trust, and more sustainable success.
You are worthy of support, rest, and collaboration. The people around you want to help—you just have to let them.
