Trust is the engine of accountability. And the fastest way to build trust is not an offsite, a pizza party, or a new tool. It’s consistent, well-run one-on-one meetings.
In this episode of You’re the Boss, Now What?, Desiree Petrich breaks down why most managers struggle with one-on-ones and offers a simple, repeatable system you can use this week. If you’re a first-time manager fighting imposter syndrome, juggling team dynamics, and trying to be a better manager without micromanaging, this is your roadmap.
Why most one-on-ones don’t work
- They become status updates. That belongs in a quick standup, not your highest trust-building touchpoint.
- The manager does most of the talking. You leave informed, your employee leaves unseen.
- They get cancelled or rushed. You teach people you’re not reliable. Trust erodes.
- You think you must have the answers. Coaching beats telling.
- They only happen at review time. Feedback becomes a once-a-year memory test.
The 5-step one-on-one that actually builds trust
1) Set a consistent cadence
Weekly or bi-weekly is ideal. Pick a time when both of you have energy. Protect it. No multitasking. Reschedules are the exception, not the rule.
Quick guide
- 1–4 direct reports: weekly 30–45 minutes
- 5–8 direct reports: bi-weekly 30–45 minutes
- 9+ direct reports: bi-weekly, and consider delegating skip-level support
2) Share a simple agenda in advance
This is not a status template. It’s a conversation starter.
Copy-paste agenda
- What’s top of mind for you this week
- Wins since we last met
- Roadblocks or risks
- One development focus
- Feedback for me
- Actions and by-when
Invite them to add bullets under each line before the meeting.
3) Ask open-ended coaching questions
Silence is not a problem. It’s thinking time. Listen more than you speak.
Starter questions
- What is one thing that would make this week easier for you
- What is blocking you from your goals
- Where do you want my help and where do you want me out of the way
- What did you learn from last week that we can apply this week
- If you were delegating your job for two days, what would you hand off first and why
4) Balance short-term work with long-term growth
Cover today’s priorities, then zoom out.
Growth prompts
- What would success look like for you over the next 90 days
- What skills do you want to build this quarter
- Which projects would stretch you in a good way
- Who on the team could you mentor or pair with
This is how you reduce turnover and keep difficult employees engaged through purpose, not pressure.
5) End with clear commitments
No meeting ends without answers to who, what, and by when.
Close-out script
- You will deliver X by Thursday 3 pm
- I will remove blocker Y by tomorrow noon
- We will review progress next Tuesday
Send a quick recap in writing. If it isn’t written, it didn’t happen. This creates permission for accountability without micromanaging.
What to stop doing this week
- Stop turning one-on-ones into status rundowns. Move status to a daily or weekly standup.
- Stop filling every silence. Ask, then wait.
- Stop cancelling. If you must move it, reschedule within the same week.
What to start doing this week
- Put recurring one-on-ones on the calendar for the next 12 weeks.
- Share the 6-line agenda with your team today.
- Ask each person one growth question and one support question.
- End every meeting with a dated, written recap.
Sample 30-minute flow
- 5 min wins and check-in
- 10 min roadblocks and decisions
- 10 min development topic
- 5 min actions and dates
Signs your one-on-ones are working
- Fewer surprises and last-minute fire drills
- Clearer ownership and faster decisions
- More peer-to-peer accountability, less manager-as-referee
- Stronger team dynamics in meetings
- Better follow-through after commitments
Manager scripts you can use
- Clarifying expectations
“Let’s define done. For Thursday 3 pm, done means the client-ready draft in the folder and a 3-bullet summary.” - Redirecting a status dump
“This sounds like standup material. For this time, what’s one place you want coaching or a decision from me” - Coaching over telling
“Before I share my view, what options have you considered and what’s your current recommendation” - Holding the line kindly
“We committed to Friday. We missed it. What do you need to hit the new Wednesday 10 am deadline, and what will you do differently”
Why this matters for new managers
Great one-on-ones are the simplest way to build trust as a manager, fix a toxic culture at the team level, and handle conflict at work before it explodes. They help you hold employees accountable without becoming the bad guy. They turn micromanaging into coaching and meetings into momentum.
Your next step
Pick one direct report. Schedule a 30-minute one-on-one for this week using the 6-line agenda. Ask two coaching questions. End with clear commitments. Then repeat.
Because leadership is a privilege and a responsibility. And you’re the boss now. So what are you going to do with it
